thejunglenook:

khaleesri:

"no homo" I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of phenotypes. I am Gregor Mendel. 

This joke is lethal

john-barowman:

bad-wolf-tardis:

staystaystays:

meeting celebrities is an interesting thing because some people spend their life savings to get one photo and hug with their idol while others find them in like the cereal aisle at the grocery store

mycroft-queenofcake:  dancing-in-a-thunderstorm:  theblogofdeduction:  thealphasourwolf:  fuckyeahrdj:  kashmir1:  hawkachu:  trickyshellhead:  hackedmotionsensors:  tardiscrash:  tellxmebby:   Could you imagine shopping and just looking over into the isle and seeing him   (via creeperjude) There is like nothing but juice in that cart. What the hell Robert, you juice whore.   THERE IS A FACE IN THE EGGS   OMFG THERE IS A CREEPY FACE IN THE EGGS. WTAF. ALSO. HE IS WEARING A STARK BASEBALL CAP. STARK. I AM NOT IMAGINING THAT, RIGHT? omg rdj wtaf.  is that jude law hiding in the eggs youre walking in the dairy aisle theres no one around and your cart is full out of the corner of your eye you spot him: RDJ hes following you in a Stark brand cap his cart squeaks on the floor, and he narrows his eyes to a squint hes staring at you: RDJ youre looking for the checkout but youre all turned around hes walking beside you now and you can see theres juice in his cart my god, theres juice everywhere. shopping for your food - with RDJ you get in the same queue - with RDJ he browses through the candy Hollywood superstar RDJ picks up a pack of gum - RDJ looks at the price - RDJ puts it back on the shelf - practical shopper RDJ

the hat

mitchdahbitch:

mitchdahbitch:

ill take the one in the red 

image

jaclcfrost:

jaclcfrost:

[inhales] [exhales] [looks out into the sunset] the sweet smell of not being in high school

[remembers that i have no idea what i want to do for my future] [continues to stare out into the sunset] shit

How I clean my room:

god-tiermeulin:

•start at one corner
•find something from 5 years ago and stare at it nostalgically for 10 hours
•go to bed

burgrs:

my mom is telling me “get a good job” but my heart is telling me “marry rich”

tattooidea:


"Underneath the footprints it says “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good” in clear UV-reactive ink"
 

 
The Harry Potter geek in me just freaked out.
  • Me with no money: I want everything
  • Me with money: what the fuck do I buy
  • your-faith-walksonbrokenglass:

    demundean:

    you know what kills me, what really haunts my deepest darkest dreams? harry using lumos at privet drive in prisoner of azkaban to do his homework. WARNER BROTHERS! Harry Potter WAS NOT ALLOWED TO DO MAGIC OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL. THAT’S WHY HE RAN AWAY AFTER BLOWING UP HIS FUCKING AUNT. Do you understand the MAJOR continuity problem in your adaptation of this billion-dollar book series? DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

    This was the absolute worst

    sernacht:

    So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

    "Do not come any closer"

    tentakewl:

    when you hear your mom coming home and remember all the chores you were supposed to do image

    broccoliavenger:

    meulins-choice-ass:

    87daysbefore:

    me: 

    image

    you:

    image

    Lemon is someone out  theres favorite.

    thats the most uplifting thing ive read all day

    manamefomam:

ronintraining:

When Guardians of the Galaxy was pitched to me, I said, “I don’t think so.” I just didn’t picture myself getting the role. I didn’t want to go and embarrass myself like I did when I auditioned for G.I. Joe a couple of years previously. I went in there, and halfway through I saw the director’s eyes just glaze over. It made sense—I was a little heavy and out of shape. I was not gonna play someone from G.I. Joe. I did not look like a G.I. Joe action figure come to life.
It’s a thing when it becomes three peoples’ job to mop sweat off of you. The hair person, the makeup person, an assistant. When their primary job becomes stopping you from sweating? But I sweat less now that I’m in better shape. When I was fat, it could be ice cold in a room and I would sweat.
It was getting to the point where I would wake up in the middle of the night and I wasn’t breathing. A little bit of sleep apnea. My neck was pushing down on my throat, so my sleep felt like it was panicked all night.
I like clothes now. I have more energy. I sleep better. My sex drive is up. Blood’s flowing. I’m less susceptible to impulse. I’m in a different mode. When I was way out of shape, the idea of using whitening strips on my teeth seemed terrible. I have to do that every day? I’ll never do it. What you want is instant results when you’re out of shape. You want your teeth whitened in 45 minutes with the use of lasers. But when you’re in shape, you know it’s the result of doing a little bit every day. Moments aren’t just moments. A moment might be a week or a month. So instead of Boy, I’d love to eat this hamburger right now, I’m considering a little further into the future. I’m thinking, I eat that hamburger and that’s 1,200 calories, and I’m gonna work out tomorrow and lose 800 calories. I may as well eat a salad here, still do that workout, and then I’m actually making progress.
You have to eat protein. You can’t have hashbrowns, or burgers, or anything fried. You can’t have carbs. You have to work out five times a week.
But I can do 40-inch box jumps now. Action-hero physical stuff. Jumping that high feels really good. You see a giant hillside, and you think, I wanna get up that. You see a building, you think, I could climb that. When you get in shape, the world around you becomes things you wanna jump on and climb up.

Via esquire


That’s actually quite motivational